A Friend Indeed
by iSparks
Summary: After the fight for Onderon's freedom is won, Ahsoka and Lux find time to discuss their feelings, their friendship and the future as they prepare to move on into new stages of their lives while putting some painful memories behind them. One-shot. Rated T for some sad themes.


**A Friend Indeed…**

* * *

The royal square was a buzz today, the day of Onderon's freedom. After so much bloodshed and sacrifice, finally the people of the planet could say they were free from the tyranny of the Separatists, finally they could take to the streets of their city without fear of the oppression that came with the hundreds and thousands of battle droids and their commanders and finally, finally they had the king they had chosen to lead them back on the throne with a promise of peace and prosperity under his rule and the opportunity to once again become one with the Republic under their new senator, none other than one of the heroes of the rebellion, Lux Bonteri.

Ahsoka however was far from as happy as she perhaps thought she should be today. Her heart was heavy with grief, so much so it felt as though she would collapse from the exhaustion of having to carry it through the proceedings that were happening all around her, but at the same time, she knew she had to both for her own sake and his.

It had all happened so quickly, in one moment she had come inches, mere inches from saving a life, at one time she thought she had some sort of a grip and at another maybe it had only been a brushing of fingers and then, pain. Unyielding, burning and breaking, the blast itself had sent her falling to her back and grabbing at her shoulder as a ringing sound waved through her sensitive montrals and blocked anything else from registering in her head.

She remembered looking around her frantically, the explosion was the first thing to catch her attention, whatever had hit her was now well and truly destroyed, but by then it had been too little too late. Then there was the burning wound on her left shoulder that she dreaded moving her right hand away from in fear that she would gag or faint if she looked at it, though at that moment the searing pain that emanated from underneath her dirt stained palm felt as though it would do the job before she ever got the chance.

And then there was darkness, not because she had closed her eyes, not because she had lost her grip on consciousness, no, this was a different kind of darkness, a darkness that came in the form of a pair of dread and pain filled hazel brown eyes that looked back at her and screamed for something she couldn't make out and it was only then, through all the hurt, screaming and white hot flames, that it hit her.

Steela had died on impact of course, there was no final words for her to speak and no more pain for her endure. Perhaps that would come as some sort of comfort to those that had been there when she fell, but for Ahsoka, it only served to break the already fragile barrier that held her emotions back and as she stood and watched Lux hold his friend, ally and maybe even lover in his shaking arms, she could only let two small tears run down her flushed cheeks and turn away before she too fell to the harsh rocky ground that lay underneath her aching feet.

"I'm sorry for your loss…" it seemed the most appropriate thing to say to a grieving brother, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel like she had insulted Saw Gerrera in some unspeakable way. She was still intent to take the blame for Steela's death, if only she had been quicker, stronger, if she had only spent more time training herself in the force, she would still be there, standing at Lux and her brothers side in victory and not lying on the ceremonial alter before them.

Saw had of course responded with a brave face, but the pain of his loss was obvious enough in his eyes alone and that was what hit her hardest. Was he blaming her? Perhaps not, but she blamed herself and if it were not for the fact that Lux was standing next to her she probably would have broken down then and there.

"Steela would be glad. Her sacrifice gave Onderon its freedom…" Lux spoke with a stronger tone than she thought he would be able to conjure, though she could still sense his pain, despite his best efforts to bury it as deep down in his thoughts as he possibly could.

"But at what cost?" she asked absentmindedly, "It's like you once said… many lives get caught between the Republic and the Separatists…"

Lux's features turned a little softer, "I did say that, once. But after watching your heroics and the selflessness of the Jedi, I do believe that the Republic is the right side to be on" he replied thoughtfully, surprising her with a show of strength she had never before seen in him.

She looked at him questioningly, "What do you mean?"

"Dendup has appointed me the new senator of Onderon" he replied with a small look of determination that even managed to make her smile, if only a little, "I will follow in my mother's footsteps and I will us back to the Republic"

Her heavy heart lightened a little as she let his promise sink in. After all this time she could call Lux an ally instead of an enemy or a rebel and even though she personally would never have considered him either, she couldn't help but feel at least a little bit better in the knowing that her actions had contributed to his change of heart.

"I think that's a wise decision… senator" she allowed herself another small smile as Lux chuckled at her reply.

After that and the King's final address to his people, Lux had taken her arm in arm and led her, along with Obi-Wan and Anakin into the castle's grand hall for the celebrations that would follow the funeral and declaration of peace.

She had tried to eat from the large platter of food that the servants had brought to her; she had tried to make some healthy conversation with Lux, her master and a few others who were present at their table as a seemingly and somewhat premature party atmosphere took hold of the great hall, but all the while, the words just seemed to escape her before she could even attempt to speak them.

"Can I be excused?" she asked nervously as she pushed her chair back and stood up a little shakily, "I think I need some air…"

She didn't wait for a response; she really did need some space to breath before she drowned in the sea of incomprehensible words and conversations that flooded the massive hall as well as her still ringing montrals. She needed to escape and before she knew it, she was standing out on one of the castles many balcony's, staring out into the night sky and savouring every breath of cool air as she tried to settle her mind and regain her scattered senses.

Behind her she heard a cheer, some laughter and some applause before the sound faded once again behind the balcony doors and a hand laid gently on her right shoulder, "Hey, are you okay?"

Ahsoka turned her head to meet her master's gaze; he looked worried, though the small smile of comfort on his face would have convinced anyone else that he was in high spirits, "I'm fine, master… I just needed some air is all" she replied before turning and looking back out to the sleeping city beneath her, surprised that the celebrations had not spilled out onto the streets but relieved that it was as peaceful as it was.

"You're a bad liar, Snips" Anakin grinned, "You know you can tell me anything, right? I can help you, you only need to ask" he said with a comforting pat of her shoulder before removing his hand and instead following her stance and leaning forward against the railing in front of them.

She smiled, Anakin really was always there for her when she needed him, she had always been so thankful to have him as her master and she'd always try to remind him of that fact whenever she could, "I've been thinking… about what you said to me a few days ago, you told me to always put purpose ahead of my feelings, but it's not as easy as that… it's… difficult to talk about" she said with a sigh, feeling a little silly but she also felt at least a bit better for saying it.

"I know…" Anakin replied, "I know what it feels like, but you have to be sure of your feelings, Ahsoka. I can't give you any real advice, except that it's better to do what you think is best for you and the other person, follow your heart and you'll know what to do"

With that and a final pat of encouragement, Anakin turned to return to the festivities and leave his young Padawan to ponder his words and they're real meaning. Deep down, he knew Ahsoka would make the right decision by her, but at the same time, he hoped that she never had to go through the pain of hiding her true self from others like he had all these years.

"Thank you, master" Ahsoka whispered, not expecting him to hear her, she would tell him again later once all was said and done, but now she needed to clear the air and focus, she was a Jedi, that was her fate, her destiny and she wouldn't let her feelings ruin that, even if she knew it would be difficult.

She turned and walked back through the doors to a warm greeting from some of the gathered crowd. Some she recognised instantly as members of the rebellion, while others just seemed to want to show their respect for the Jedi that helped them gain their freedom, either way, she was grateful for their gratitude and her smile was all it took to let them know it.

The rest of the evenings pleasantries went a lot smoother for Ahsoka, she had managed to clear her head and open up a little more to the others, while at the back of her mind she slowly prepared for what she felt she would need to do once she found a moment to be alone with the one person she needed to speak with before returning to Coruscant.

That chance came a little bit after the King had given his final address, thanking both the Jedi and the Republic for their help and even giving her special praise for representing her Order in such an esteemed manner.

Ahsoka then found herself walking with her master, Obi-Wan and Lux down a long corridor to the rooms the King had had prepared for them and it was only after wishing Anakin and the Jedi Master goodnight that she took the opportunity to stop Lux and sit down on a small bench on the opposite side of the corridor so they could finally speak.

"Today was fun, huh? I think Steela would have liked how we celebrated her life" Lux began with a small smile before noticing that the young Togruta looked a little bit more nervous than she usually did, "Are you alright, Ahsoka?" he asked with a hint of concern as he reached to take a hold of her hand, but she was quick to pull away from his grip.

"I'm fine, Lux, I just needed to talk with you, to clear the air…" she replied with a tone that matched her nervous demeanour.

Lux gave her a slightly confused frown, "What do you mean?" he asked.

Ahsoka cleared her throat, "Since I've known you, I've had these confused feelings, feelings that a Jedi really shouldn't possess and until now, I've been unsure what they really meant" she replied honestly, whatever fear she had of this moment quickly disappearing as her confidence slowly grew.

"I… I think I understand" Lux responded with a sigh, "And I understand your struggle, believe it or not, I've been in the same position until only recently… I loved her, Ahsoka…"

She looked away, feeling a little bit dejected, but she knew she had to continue, "I know… and I know Steela felt the same, even if I selfishly wished she didn't"

Lux looked up at her, "Don't feel bad, I care for you, Ahsoka, you're a dear friend… but I also know that we can be nothing more than that…" he replied with another frown, though she could sense he had already come to terms with the facts laid out in front of him, just as she had.

"I care for you too…" she said, taking a gentle grip of his hand as she stared into his eyes, "And I'm glad you understand"

With that they stood, Lux giving her a small kiss on the cheek before embracing her and wishing her goodnight before she returned the sentiment and entered her room. The heavy feeling that had gripped her heart had disappeared as Ahsoka lay her head on the soft pillow of her bead and closed her eyes, it had been much easier than she first thought to tell Lux the truth, but she was glad he understood. He was her friend and she wasn't willing to risk that friendship or her position as a Jedi for feelings she knew she couldn't act upon, it would be difficult, be she knew with this new knowledge that she could face her feelings and sooth them over and she also took comfort in the fact that her master would be there to do the same should she ever need him.

The next morning, Ahsoka had woken up at the break of dawn and watched the sun rise from her room's balcony after a pleasant night's sleep. She hadn't dreamed much, but her thoughts had certainly calmed a lot more since the night before and she felt a lot better for that.

After making sure her room was as it was when she first entered it, Ahsoka once again met with Anakin and Obi-Wan to prepare for the upcoming flight home.

They had breakfast first of course and with the king no less who again thanked them for helping both himself and his people in their time of need. Ahsoka also had the chance to once again talk with Lux, though now their conversations were a lot more open and comfortable, something she knew they were both thankful for.

Time seemed to pass by quickly and before she knew it she was standing in front of the Jedi transport that was being prepared for the journey back to Coruscant, and once again looking in Lux's eyes as she playfully punched him on the shoulder and smiled though a small giggle.

"I'll see you soon, Senator Bonteri" she said with an exaggerated bow and a light chuckle as Lux rubbed his sore shoulder with a sarcastic smile of his own.

"Have a safe trip, I expect you to be present at my introduction to the senate in two weeks" he replied with his own exaggerated and dignified tone before both busted out laughing and tried to regain their composure as the confused royal guards stared at them from the edges of the landing platform.

Ahsoka breathed deeply as she calmed her laugh and wrapped Lux in a light hug, "Take care, Lux" she said.

"You too, Ahsoka Tano" he replied happily, before breaking the hug and ushering her toward the crafts loading ramp and giving her one last wave as it retracted and accented to close off the inside of the ship from the outside world.

Ahsoka then made her way to the transports bridge and took her seat next to her master as Obi-Wan sat behind them, "Ready to head home, Snips?" Anakin asked with a smile and a look that asked her the question she had expected.

"You bet, master" she replied with a smile of her own before activating the controls in front of her and bringing the ship to life as it slowly rose from the landing platform and began its ascension though Onderon's morning clouds while its occupants strapped in for the long journey back Coruscant and the Jedi Temple they called home.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Disney and Lucasfilm Limited own all Star Wars characters and concepts. I do not own the rights to any of the characters, locations or anything to do with Star Wars. Any Original Characters and or locations however are my own.

**Author's Notes: **Thanks for reading guys.

I came up with the idea for this little one-shot after myself and another author discussed Ahsoka's possible feelings for Lux and his for her which lead me to the idea of the pair finally sitting down and discussing how they really felt about each other and where they should go after Onderon's freedom had been confirmed.

I think that after what happened during the Onderon arc, Ahsoka would realise that she could be no more than friends with Lux since it was pretty obvious that he had some strong feelings for Steela, however I wanted to also put across that both of them still cared for one another and each wanted the other to be happy rather than keep their feelings hidden from one another.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story and please feel free to leave your own thoughts in the form of a review as I'd love to read them and see your own opinions on Lux and Ahsoka's relationship.

But for now I'll have to stop typing and just say thank you all once again for reading and I will catch you guys next time, cheers!


End file.
